I'm like a fox and Western Beef is the henhouse

Because I just came out of there with a lot of chicken.

If I told you to buy 13 lbs of chicken, how much would you expect to pay? $10.50? $12? $18 even?!

No, not at Western Beef. Look at this deal.

 Your eyes aren't fooling you. That says $0.49/lb! They are practically paying you to take it off their hands. If I know anything about you, you are probably already halfway out there door to get to Western Beef and buy some chicken.

Wait. There's more!

Do they even have margaritas in Pittsburgh?

My brother told me that my parents drink margaritas now. Even at home! How is that possible/affordable? A single lime costs about $0.70 at Giant Eagle. For comparison, I can get 6-10 limes for $1 now, depending on where I go. I buy so many limes because they're so cheap that I throw a lot away. It's worth it to have the option for a lime.

The Whiskey Rebellion Was Fought Over This

It turns out $6.49 for Haller's Whiskey is before tax, which is $0.39 in PA. I get Fleischmann's for $6.50 total, so I win.

The Whiskey Rebellion happened near Pittsburgh, by the way. If I ever invent a distillery, I'm going to make it in Pittsburgh and dub it Rebellion Whiskey.

Still not the mayor of Western Beef (plus the most heinous use of Instagram ever)

 I went to Western Beef to get a loaf of bread. It's $1.79 for wheat bread there and you have to pay at least $2.50 anywhere else. Sometimes $3.79! I figured I'd look at the ricotta cheese too because that's good on toast. I didn't get any. What happened to the price of ricotta? I used to pay $2 for a pound of it (when it was on sale) and now it's more like $4. Maybe I should make my own?

I got a Florida avocado for $0.99. I've never eaten one before--only Haas. I bought one last year but I let it go bad.

I also bought DeCecco pasta for the first time. It was finally affordable. It was $1/box. The non-sale price was $2.19. I wonder if it's better than the Ronzoni/San Giorgio/Barilla I usually buy. I hope not, because I don't want to acquire any fancy tastes.

I wonder what this Warka beer is like. "Unique taste" and "strong beer" make me think it's awful in a way that I'd learn to like.

And I got some sardines. And then I took a picture of my receipt and used Instagram on it. I think this might be the worst, most heinous, abuse of Instagram in its storied history.

Bushwick Groceries

I don't know if blog posts get better than this one from BushwickBK. It's a grocery price survey of all the stores in Bushwick. I overpay for eggs.

You'd think this blog would do original reporting like that, but I think my focus is even narrower. But here are my tips.

Buy frozen foods, especially vegetables, at C-Town.
Buy canned foods at Western Beef. Except crushed tomatoes, which come from C-Town or Key Food.
Buy fresh vegetables at the Jesus store. It's called To the World Farm or something. It's next to Associated.
Recycle your shopping bags at Key Food. You can get pasta there or at C-Town.
Get pork butt from Associated. Get bags of beans from Associated.

A Lamentation

A life full of party leftovers is a life without a reason to go to the grocery store. And now my life lacks its organizing principle. I'd do other people's grocery shopping. I bought Greg a bottle of Cholula, but that has been delivered now. I went to 4 stores because I didn't care for the price at the first one and the second one didn't have it and the third only had weird flavors. C-Town had it for $3/bottle, which is the lowest you'll ever find it anywhere.

4th of July Party Planning

Watching me plan a party and buy groceries for it is such a sight that I don't know why more people don't want to watch me do it. I have my menu spreadsheet. Then I go to all the stores and compare the prices on everything I'm not already familiar with the price for. Days and days of nothing but grocery stores. I try to keep each trip to $10-$20. It makes my heart hurt to think that I've also made about 6 trips so far. If I spent all that money at the same time, I'd cry. I'm poor.

 This is the table of things that don't have to be refrigerated and aren't whiskey. There's orangeade for tint that I found at C-Town on sale. Jugs of apple juice for the american drink (whiskey and apple juice). Cups and plates. Hot dog buns are $1.50 for 12 at Western Beef. Cheez whiz was $3.99 at Key Food this week. Prices ranged up to $5.69 for it. You can't see the Bac-o's. They make part of my baked potato dogs. There are 2 boxes of gemelli there that I'm goign to turn into a pesto pasta salad with tomatoes and mozzarella (so it's like caprese).

In my refrigerator are sour cream, the mozzarella, parsley, basil, celery, lettuce, and I forget what else.

I accidentally made 10 lbs of chickpea orzo salad. That's what 1 bag of chick peas and 2 boxes of orzo will get you. It's not done yet because I still have to add the parsley and taste it. I might buy a can of chick peas. I don't know if I like this ratio right now.

I still need to buy 8 bottles of wine for tint (generously contributed by Agnes on the condition that I do the legwork) and maybe some more hot dog buns and ketchup. I ate all the ketchup I had on pasta the other night. I better check out my mustard situation too.

I am currently in a very very bad mood. I often get in one as I get ready for a party. Right now I am rehearing every criticism ever made of me that I'm too cheap and shouldn't use lemon juice from a bottle, for instance. Or that tint is gross because it's not sangria. I am willing to give out very affordable black eyes to anyone who suggests such a thing to me tomorrow.