Leftovers

Since Christmas, I have eaten nothing but leftovers at my parents' house except for a single meal which was Monday night when I ate leftovers at my aunt's house. Leftovers are my favorite food, so I don't mind. My scale minds though. I've gained 9 lbs last I checked. Fortunately, my waistline doesn't mind because I gained all 9 lbs below my ribs and above my waist.

Understandably, I haven't been going to grocery stores as much. I've looked at the price of long underwear everywhere instead. Target has it for $4, but it's kind of ill-fitting and comes up way too far into the area where I keep 9 extra pounds now. I also got a cashmere sweater for $20 at J.C. Penney that started its life at $100. I got a Woolrich winter coat for $4 at a Goodwill where you buy clothes by the pound. I got oxblood wingtips for $4 at another Goodwill. I got a gold sweater at Old Navy for $10 that will serve me well for the rest of the football and hockey seasons. I am very very fashionable, especially for Pittsburgh's eastern suburbs.

Two More Pics. Then I'm Done.

Today I went to Penn Macaroni, Walmart, Delallo's, Giant Eagle, and Costco. I'm so tired.

 Here's a rare time I push a cart. It was very weird. My parents asked me to drive the cart around to go get seedless grapes. That took me a while because I refused to accept that you needed to buy 4 lbs of them. I was wrong.

Here's an oldie from Giant Eagle. Telling me to use my fingernail would make me nuts.

Disappointing Delallo. Plus Giant Eagle

I've been looking forward to go to Delallo for a while. It sits at the intersection of my three loves: Pittsburgh, Italian food, and grocery stores. It doesn't hurt that it talks to me on Twitter.  What a let down!

 I was still excited when I took this picture. I hadn't yet walked in the door. Inside I found the produce section and was taken aback. They want $2.50 for basil. You get more for $1 at Jesus. They want $1.98/lb for eggplant. It's half that even at Key Food. Ginger was $3.98/lb. That might be better than Giant Eagle, but it's not as good as even Penn Macaroni. Cabbage was $0.69/lb, which is the same as Key Food, but I consider Key Food's price bad. They have an antipasti bar where everything is $8.88/lb. Maybe that's not bad, but at the East Village Cheese Shop, I get grape leaves for $2.49/lb. And that's list price. I don't think they know how to measure and usually give me 2 lbs for $2.49.

The one good price was baccalà. That was $6.98/lb. I don't know if that had a bone in it. There were also some prepared versions available behind the deli counter for $17.95/lb.  Eep! The mozzarella for $4.98/lb wasn't too bad. Eggs were $1.49 for jumbo, which is the best price I know. But when I got to the frozen seafood section, I got positively angry.

 At Food Bazaar, you get a pound of octopus (they call it "pulpo") for $3. THIS IS OVER 4 TIMES THAT! Maybe because Pittsburgh is so far from the sea. I don't know.

 I don't actually know what a good price for cuttle fish is. I do know you'd have to pay me more than $6 to cuddle with fish though.

 I probably wouldn't pick on spelling if I were in Brooklyn. But most everyone in Jeanette, Pa. speaks English as a first language. Also, gourmet prices demand gourmet copy-editing.

 These artichoke hearts made me miss Brooklyn. C-Town told me on Twitter yesterday that a shipment of La Squisita artichoke hearts came in. They go for $1.29 a jar.

So then my brother and I went to Giant Eagle. He had to get 15 gallons of distilled water, so I had time to look around.

First Stop in Pittsburgh: Penn Macaroni

The Megabus dropped me off under the David L. Lawrence Convention Center and my brother was parked right there. It was around 6:30 am, which is when Penn Macaroni opens. That place was packed already! And it was, as they say, "not playin' arahnd."

 The have aisles and aisles of Italian stuff. They have a room of cheeses and deli meats. The prices on the cheeses weren't bad. $6.83 for pecorino romano, for example. (They charge more on their website.)

 This is a pretty good price on these anchovies. It can hold a candle to Key Food and C-Town. In fact, it beats them by about $1. I should have bought them, but I still have to peep Labriola's.

 Here's their pile of baccalà.  I never touched it before today. I expected it to be stiffer.  It was $8.99 for boneless. $7.99 for bone-in. I didn't buy it.

My brother bought 6 bottles of Fernet for $11/each. This isn't Fernet Branca, mind you. It's the weaker stuff. But still, it helps you digest. I saw a bunch of almond paste for $7.99. Limes were 3/$1 and ginger root was $1.99/lb, which is about a good a price as you'll find in this part of the country. Avocados were $0.99 each, which is a lot better than I expected to find. And they had cactus pears, which I have never seen before. It was a good trip.

Then we went to Wal-mart so I could get a loaf of Cellone's Italian bread and some hot pepper rings. I love that bread so much. I got home and ate 3 spaghetti sandwiches. I later ate a ham sandwich. I plan to go to Giant Eagle tonight and get more.

Following, the view of downtown from outside Penn Macaroni.

Last stop in Brooklyn: Key Food

On Sunday I wanted to cook a pork butt so I went to Key Food. It was a bittersweet experience because the prices were good on so many things, but I was leaving for Pittsburgh Tuesday night and couldn't stock up on anything.

I got a pork butt for $0.99/lb. 2 loaves of Italian bread that were still warm when I bought them for $0.99 each. A head of cabbage for $0.69/lb, which is a terrible price, but I didn't want to go anywhere else. And 1.25 lbs of pecorino romano on sale for $4.99/lb. I think I got a half gallon of milk too. It came to an even $22.

Giant Eagle, Purveyor of Cheap Eggs, Sues "Egg Cartel."

Giant Eagle's pretty mad that egg costs have gone up.

That, according to Giant Eagle Inc., is the conclusion that U.S. egg producers reached in 1999, when talks began that led to a concerted reduction in hens and corresponding rise in prices. In a federal civil complaint filed last week, the region's dominant grocer charged it had been harmed by an egg cartel that, in the guise of protecting the chickens, hatched a price-fixing plot against consumers.

The last time I was in a Giant Eagle, I was surprised by how cheap eggs were. Of course, over the summer eggs were cheaper. The other day I found myself wishing for another salmonella scare so eggs get cheap again. They're even getting expensive at Associated.

C-Town Gave me the Nicest Christmas Present

On Thursday, I ventured to Manhattan to go to the Apple Store and to get Christmas presents. It was mostly torturous. Apple didn't care that my MacBook battery is swollen. I think swollen batteries might be dangerous, but they didn't seem to. They helpfully offered to sell me a new one and helpfully warned me to not try to get one for cheaper from the internet. I went to Strand, which advertised a special on Foursquare that said "free bag with ANY purchase." The capitalization of "any" was their doing. So when I asked, I was told that was only for purchases of $50. Later when JC Penney gave me a free bottle of water while waiting in line, I still wasn't very happy with how most stores were treating customers. (Just to be clear, I think JC Penney was one of the good ones.)

On Friday, C-Town tweeted to me. "Stop by today for an early christmas present! Ask for the Manager." So I roused myself from my deathbed and walked up the street to C-Town. I bought apple juice, cranberry juice, milk, and broth--all liquids. Then I asked for the manager and he surprised me with the nicest gift: Iron City beer! He gave me a six pack of cans and a six pack of bottles and has some more for sale there.  All weekend when I was miserable and hateful, I thought of the time C-Town was the nicest.

Have I now been bought off by C-Town and will henceforth refrain from criticizing anything?  Yes.

Pictures of my goodies follow.

The Situation at C-Town: Crushed Tomatoes, Cheeses

This won't be as informative as my rant about line management and check-out practices at Food Bazaar just was, but is more informative than most things I write about. After Food Bazaar, I realized I needed more crushed tomatoes to make my sauce for the eggplant parmesan. I usually go to Key Food for crushed tomatoes because they have my favorite brand (Colavita) at my favorite price ($1.50 for 28 oz.) I've written at length before about how to select a can of crushed tomatoes. But C-town is closer and it was very cold and C-Town has been nice to me lately so I gave it a shot.

I went to the crushed tomato section and looked at all the cans. They all had way too many ingredients. I don't need their preservatives. I don't need their salt--I have salt. I don't need their basil and oregano. I have spices. Despite the cold, I almost left and walked to Key Food, which is a much longer walk from C-Town than from my house, so I was going to be quite cross.

Lo and behold, near the registers at the end of an aisle was a section of Cento brand crushed tomatoes on sale! I checked the ingredients and it had only one: "fresh red ripe tomoatoes." And it was on sale for $1.50 I think. I don't know whether to say they hid these because they weren't with the other ones or to say they emphasized these. But I bought them and they were good. Now I have two favorite brands.

Since I was there and happy, I looked around. C-Town told me in a blog comment the other day that the pecorino romano is now to the left of the deli counter. It sure was. At $8.59/lb, I won't be stocking up there, but it beats the non-sale price at Key Food. (It's too cold to bike to Western Beef for a long time.) And I noticed the chunk of gorgonzola. I don't like my cheese pre-crumbled. It can dry out easier.

Some San Giorgio pasta were labeled "buy one get one free - will scan at sale price" which I usually interpret to mean I only have to buy one. It usually says "must buy 2" at stores if you have to buy both. So I got just one box. It didn't give me the sale price. I paid $1.59 for a pound of pasta. That is 59% too much. But I got a good deal on the tomatoes, so I guess it evens out.

The Situation at Food Bazaar - Baccalà, Mussels, Rodriquez, Valentina, and Checking Out

Yesterday I made Italian-style mussels, eggplant parmesan, garlic bread (2 ways), and carrot cookies. I went to Food Bazaar for this because Key Food made me feel bad/gross/repulsive for buying mussels there and because the mussels are $3 for 2 lbs (instead of $5) and because Timmy wanted me to get him Christmas presents from there.

They have a whole table of "baccalà," but it was labeled as Alaskan pollock, not cod. I looked up cod on my iHorn seafood sustainability app, and it said cod is overfished. I didn't buy any.

The mussels were in ice and were much cheaper than Key Food. They had a label that said they came out of the ocean in Maine on Sunday. The seafood section at Food Bazaar's really busy, but that's because it's good.

That whole store was too busy. There were too many people with carts just milling about. Navigating the produce section was like a video game. Every time you come to the end of a table, someone with a cart blocks you in.


Timmy wanted me to get him some Rodriguez. It's a fudge or something. I spent forever searching the Hispanic dessert aisle and couldn't find it. Then I did. It was hiding in the next aisle over.

 Rodriquez. Lots.

 

Not Rodriguez.

I was very very pleased to find Valentina Black Label (tied with Cholula for best hot sauce) on sale. $2 for 34 oz. I got it.

The normal size doesn't last long enough.

Then I circled back around to pick up my mussels (I didn't want to tote creatures around a whole store) and went to check out. It sucked.  After the jump, I will rant. I rant about how the lines are managed. Then I rant about the people in front of me.

C-Town Tweets to Me! My Christmas list for C-Town

Let me tell you, I hate a lot of brands and companies this week. Chase is canceling free checking. State Farm had an annoying bordering on rude insurance agent. Allstate had a really nice insurance agent, but quit working with me when I wouldn't sign something certifying that 2 or fewer people live in my apartment. (She suggested I amend it to "1," which was even further from 3.) AppleCare wanted me to submit proof of payment for the AppleCare I ordered directly from them with a credit card on a date I provided the date and exact amount for. And I applied for a job that was being handled by a third party and after they made me answer a bunch of personality questions, asked me to submit my credit score which they had helpfully linked me to get for free.  No.

Here are the companies on my good side:

• J.C. Penney
• C-Town
• Delallo's 
• Key Food
• Amazon

I like C-Town and Delallo's the most because they talk to me on Twitter the most. I like C-Town the most of the most because they don't have ridiculous prices. (I'd like them even more if they carried some Delallo products though.)

That is all just the set up to addressing a very important tweet. Perhaps the most important tweet I've ever read.  "Let us know what else you would like & we will work on it!"

C-Town, here is my wish list.
Easy stuff:

• There used to be marinated artichoke hearts for $1.29 that were kind of hidden about 1 step down the first aisle from the Goya ones. These were the best. Now there are $1.50 Cento ones and they taste funny and have hard bases. Bring back the cheap good ones.
• Carry tomato juice in a can. I like to keep it on hand in my house for impromptu brunches. Key Food charges $2.19. Compare charges about $1.79. Associated charges $1.99 I think. V-8 doesn't count. They carry Sacramento, but I'd buy a cheaper brand since it's just a base for my bloody mary.
• I never buy my cheese at C-Town (except for sliced cheese from the deli counter). Here's why. The pecorino romano, which is my main cheese (check the tags for this blog), is never in big hunks. It's in those cute vacuum packed seals from Bel Gioioso that cost too much. Key Food and Western Beef have nice attractive big chunks that somehow or other they can put on sale for $5/lb at times, but I will pay $10 in an emergency. The gorgonzola, when I can even find it, is always crumbled already. I like the chunk. I want chunky Italian cheese. I was glad to see ricotta salata added recently.
• Add Delallo products. I saw some at the Met Food on Fulton Street and made Agnes buy them.

Harder Stuff:

• I'd be elated to find Iron City, I.C. Light, or any beer from the Penn Brewery there. I meet lots of people from Pittsburgh around here.  I read that the assistant manager of Motorino is from Pittsburgh. The Penn Brewery has good beers. I'd buy them for special occasions.
• There isn't the turnover to support a lot of your produce. In an emergency, I bought a green pepper twice, and regretted it both times. Onions are fine. Potatoes are fine. Much of the rest isn't. Know your strengths. Key Food has some sections with anchovies, capers, and lots of other jarred Italian products that 1) don't spoil 2) are good. That'd be a much better use of the space. Heck, put in more beer even.

Gripes

• Dried beans cost twice as much as at Associated. So do eggs. If that's where the profit margin comes from, fine. But I know better now! 

At least C-Town doesn't ring up all my purchases at the wrong prices all the time like Key Food does.

Key Food's Getting Ready for Christmas.

I think Key Food is getting ready for an Italian Christmas. Cookies that look Italian are for sale. Cookies that say they are Italian are for sale. I don't lump them together because the ones that say they are Italian are unfamiliar to me. And I didn't see pizzelles, but I can't imagine ever paying for a pizzelle. Fish products are on sale too. I think I'm going to make mussels later this week. (They're the normal price of $4.99 for 2 lbs.)


The cocktail franks I wrote about last post are now on sale for $3 or so. That's quite an improvement. And I got 2 Diet Cokes and 2 Frescas for $1 each. I got powdered sugar for $1.25, so now I can make carrot cookies.

On Assignment: Find Franks

Since Thanksgiving left me in a bit of a food and shopping hangover, hardly even hungry enough to cook, I've cut back on my visits to grocery stores. I'm trying to end that because on Saturday night I made the stupidest soup out of what little I could find. It had macaroni, black beans, yogurt, spiciness, and salt. I did better yesterday with chili. It helps when people ask me grocery questions so I have some purpose when perusing the stores. Today Kristy asked me where to find Hillshire Farm Lit'l Smokies. I don't think I've ever seen them.

Well, Kristy. Here's my best result so far. I found Nathan's beef cocktail size franks at Key Food. I suppose they could work, but at $5.29 for 14 oz. I don't think they are a very good deal.

Some other slightly interesting recent finds after the jump.

SMH* @ Shop 'n Save (as they say)

A correspondent from Pittsburgh submitted this abomination with the note "No thank you. I'd rather pay regular price."

*SMH is Twitter (and maybe other dialects) for shaking my head.

Quite Cross

I am quite cross at Delallo's for liking Timmy and not me.

But if you come across their products, you should still buy them because they are still from Pittsburgh even if I'm (relatively) unloved.

Giant Eagle in Irwin needs to work on queue theory

The natives are getting restless. Found this on Twitter:

TENroaches One lane open. 8 people in line. This #GiantEagle is so stupid. #Irwin

TENroaches  About 20 people in line now. It's a good thing I want my cream cheese softened for this recipe. 18 lanes and only one open. #GiantEagle

TENroaches An idiot on a cell horn just tries to cut in front of me. So she cut in front of everyone behind me.

TENroaches Now she's gonna get waited on before me anyway. This manager doesn't know anything about checking people out. #GiantEagle

TENroaches Finally got checked out. After 20 minutes.

Giant Eagle won't be the only game in town anymore. Walmart's coming. (Aldi doesn't really count. It's a different breed.)

       

I'd like to register a complaint.

I'm quite cross that "College Inn - Assorted - 4/$3" does not include vegetable broth. Maybe Key Food's just up to its old tricks.

I can't believe I'm talking to Delallo on Twitter.

Timmy's headed to Delallo as we speak to pick up some Fernet. Delallo's Twitter person is very helpful and told him what they carry before he made the trip.

I made Agnes buy Delallo bread crumbs when I saw them at Met Foods on Fulton St. I never see Delallo in north Brooklyn.

OooOOOOoOOOO! Which southern-based grocery chain will move to McKeesport?

I read about a new grocery store for Pittsburgh.

I hope it is Harris Teeter. Or Piggly Wiggly. For the life of me, I can't remember the name of that very popular chain in Florida that is widely regarded as the best, but I don't think it would go to Pittsburgh anyway.

Not Winn-Dixie.

Publix!

Yeah, I don't think Publix will go to Pittsburgh.  It's probably something like Save-A-Lot-More.

Stage Fright: I'm Nervous!

In this world, the only thing I'm good at is buying groceries. So why am I so nervous about going shopping for Midnight Thanksgiving? Let me try to count the things that worry me.

• If I spend $25, I save $0.40/lb on a turkey. That's a lot per pound. But $25 is daunting.
• If I spend that much, how will my frail little arms that haven't seen a gym or even a push-up in my whole life, carry a 15 lb bird and all the rest?
• I can probably reach $25 if I remember to buy all the other stuff I'm bringing. But what are those things? I don't plan my grocery trips; I experience them.
• I can buy 101 oz of pure olive oil for $8. Should I? That's a good deal. I want Lewis to have olive oil. Maybe he will buy it from me. Or I could have it to complement my extra virgin olive oil.
• What if they don't have a turkey that is the size I want? It might be too big. Dylan's oven, like my very strength, is little.

 Let's see. Dolly Parton once sang about coffee as "a cup of ambition." I could certainly use that. And her friend Porter Wagoner "drank a fifth of courage" in a song in which he killed his wife's lover. I don't have my old tolerance, so I can probably do with a tenth of courage.

Get out your credit cards. So many good deals!

In fact, as soon as I finish writing this I might put on pants and go purchase some cheese.

Western Beef:
$2 for 16 oz of mozzarella. I'm going to use this to make spaghetti al telefono.
Avocados for $0.88.
Loaves of Italian bread for $0.66.
Pound of butter for $3.
50 tall garbage bags for $4.59. With draw strings even!

Key Food (12 page circular!)
Turkey for $0.69/lb. Perfect for Midnight Thanksgiving (and the real one.)
101 oz can of Capatriti pure olive oil. for $8
Pecorino romano for $4.99/lb. I just bought it on Tuesday for $5.88/lb.
Same $3 butter deal.
Pork butt for $0.99/lb
Apple juice for $1.50. (Anything under $2 is always good.)
Cool whip - $1
Smithfield bacon - $2.99 for a pound

Worst Case Scenario

I would not be able to go on if my Associated burned down, even if I quit shopping there (for a while).

Gothamist has more pictures.

Seeing Western Beef Through New Eyes

I took Eric with me to Western Beef yesterday. Since he doesn't have a bike, we walked. It's only a little over a mile. We weren't even in its parking lot before he was gasping in awe. And that's how he spent the whole trip. He was too awestruck to really purchase much of anything. He only ended up with some cheese, a box of Wheat Thins, and a Western Beef bag.

I, on the other hand, got a big butternut squash for $0.79/lb that I turned into one of the best soups I've ever made. I got a pack of sweet Italian sausage for $3.99/lb, which I turned into pungent pasta along with the can of mushrooms and the pecorino romano I FINALLY got. I also got myself a Western Beef bag. I don't really waste $1 on anything, but I couldn't not buy one even though I have so many bags already.

Here she be.

Giant Eagle Carries Beer. A LOT of Beer

A faithful correspondent from Pittsburgh submitted these photos of the brand new beer section in the North Huntingdon Giant Eagle, which he says is by far bigger than any beer section in a Giant Eagle. Actually his exact words were "They have better beer selection than I've ever seen anywhere" and then a bit later "Yuengling makes me miss Dylan." I confirmed that they carry Edmund Fitzgerald because it was 35 years ago that that ship sank in Lake Superior.

 More down here.

Question Time

At the same time, people have sought my grocery expertise. Maybe expertise is too strong a word. People have sought my grocery opinion. Since there is little in this world I like more than advising people about groceries, without further ado, let me opine.

I'm working on building up my whiskey inventory, but it's hard because I keep drinking it. any advice? -Tom

For everything that isn't liquor, I always say "inventory is death." Because you want to let the store keep your inventory for you. Liquor is another matter, and I actually have a system for building inventory that my friend Eric has started to use. You have to give yourself a liquor budget. Don't think of this as a budget you want to come in under. Pretend you're a local government and need to pave the roads, but you're a lot more fun. So if your budget is $30 a week, make sure you get yourself to the liquor store every Saturday morning and spend that $30. Being poor for so long, my liquor budget is down to $20/week. If I don't have them, I buy a jug of the cheapest vodka ($13.88) and a bottle of the cheapest whiskey $5.99. If I drink them over the course of the week, I buy them again. If I still have them come Friday, I venture for something more fun. When I came into some surprise money from Chase Freedom giving me it, I bought a jug of gin and some bitters. If I keep to my bottle/week pace, that should permanently add 1 bottle to my inventory. (It didn't. I reacted to having more booze by inviting people to come drink it more.)

But really, if you're drinking whiskey you like, that's a good problem to have.

---

Dear Grocery Chopin,

I was recently in a convenience type grocery store to pick up a few things. A half gallon of regular milk was $2.99 which was more than I would have paid at the regular grocery store. A half gallon of organic milk however was $4.49 which is the right price for organic. Is buying higher quality (more expensive) groceries at their correct price better than buying regular groceries at an inflated (but still cheaper) price?

Sincerely,
Milk Man

Oh that's a tough one! It's going to take me a minute to get into a mindset that allows one to not buy something for only the best price or to suffer. I have to say that buying groceries at their correct price is the correct way. While I like paying very little for groceries, what I really advocate is getting good values. I wouldn't tell you to substitute olive oil with vegetable oil spread just because it's cheaper. If I were in C-Town, I would tell you to get the regular milk, but I am skeptical of bodega's attention to milk freshness, so I think going for the ultrapasteurized organic milk is a wise choice.

That was fun. I miss giving advice. I used to be pretty prolific when I wrote for Eleanor Roosevelt.

Eataly

I went to Eataly tonight with Agnes.

Other grocery store blogs (are there any?) would be all over this store.

This grocery store blog is focused on prices. Every price at Eataly was unrealistic. Pasta ranged from $2.50 to $8 or more.

If you want to know about Eataly, google it. The New York Times, New York Magazine, Saveur (maybe?), and every other publication that accepts ads covered Eataly. I can't have ads because I used to get too many pornographic spam comments and there was a time when Google could figure out how to cancel your account for porn comments before it figured out how to block porn comments. So I don't even have ads and I surely don't have the money to shop at Eataly.

Raw Meat

Western Beef has sirloin steak on sale for $2.98/lb. They say it's a family pack, so if I have to buy 10 lbs I won't do this. But would anyone like to eat my raw meat? I have been in the mood for raw meat for a while now, and that's a really good beef price.

I have the $6 bottle of whiskey that probably kills any germs anyway.

Western Beef's Weekly Circular

I've been trying to pin down when it's updated for the new week.

So far, I can tell you that by 2:56am on a Friday morning, you can see the specials for the week.

Western Beef's Circular

Fun with Leftovers: Bean soup

I had some things sitting around that were probably going to go bad soon if they hadn't already. I had beans I had soaked and cooked, a hoagie roll from Saturday that was a bit stale, and some pork juice Lewis gave me when he used his pressure cooker to make a pork butt last Thursday. I thought that'd make a good soup if I could find some frozen mustard greens or something at Key Food. I ended up getting spinach because it was on sale and the bags of mustard greens were too big and I don't know what else I'd do with them.

 

$1 for that box. I just plopped it in the pot with the pork juice and added the previously cooked beans at the end to reheat them.

I'll put the picture of the pork juice behind the jump, lest you gag.

How to Shop and Cook to Maximize Your Grocery Budget

Someone on AskMetafilter asked my favorite question.

You can read my advice here. I realize I should elaborate on those points in this blog at some point.

Ginger Ale Sale at Key Food

Now's the time to stock up on ginger ale at Key Food. It's all on sale. I wonder why. I went with Schweppes because my friend Rachel prefers that brand and I don't know anyone else with a ginger ale preference. Since I started drinking Schweppe's, I think I've enjoyed ginger ale more. Now would be the time for me to do a taste test.

There is never a time to stock up on eggs at Key Food. Their prices are ridiculous.

If you can't read it, that says $1.89 for the medium eggs at the end. At C-Town they're $1.50. At Associated I think I bought a dozen eggs for $1. Key Food's eggs are not 89% better than Associated's!

Despite that, I felt like I got good deals at Key Food. I got Gatorade for $0.88. Ginger ale was on sale. By avoiding those eggs, I was happy I saved money. Barilla pasta was $1/box for any shape. And gorgonzola was labeled $7.99/lb. I've wanted some of that for a while, but it's always $9.99/lb. You don't need a lot of it to taste a lot of it, but I still am much happier with $7.99.  So I paid and on the sidewalk I looked at my receipt. That was when I noticed they charged me $9.99. So I was no longer happy about getting a good price. Key Food always messes up their sales.

No Wonder People Don't Eat Groceries in Manhattan

Last week I ventured to that other borough to find googly eyes. I did find reasonably priced googly eyes, but on the way I stopped by Gourmet Garage and was appalled by what I saw.

• Limes for $0.49 EACH. Limes are on sale everywhere else these days. 8/$1 at C-Town, 10/$1 at Jesus, and 12/$1 at Western Beef. Do people even drink cocktails at home in Manhattan? Maybe they only go out to bars.
• Eggplants were $4.99 and $5.99/lb. At Associated and Western Beef, eggplant is $0.99/lb.
• Ginger was $3.99/lb. That's a Giant Eagle price, not a fair price. Later I was in Chinatown and saw it for $1.49/lb and $1.20/lb.
• Barilla pasta was $1.99. Tonight at Key Food I paid $1 for a box of Barilla.

The only reasonable price I saw in the store was ricotta salata, which was only $4.99/lb. If I felt like waiting in line and carrying cheese around with me to find googly eyes, I would have bought it.

I think Associated and I Need to Take a Break from Each Other

Yesterday, I was annoyed by almost everything. I was most annoyed, at first, by my right contact which had been jabbing my eye for days. (Too many naps, probably.) I was next annoyed by its replacement, which seemed to be the wrong prescription. I was also annoyed by having no food and by having to cook food and probably by everything else. It is safe to say I was in a bad mood.

I thought that if I forced myself outside enough to go to a grocery store for the first time in days, I might feel better. I went to Associated because they have a good price on eggs ($0.99/dozen medium) and jalapeno peppers ($0.99/lb) and figured I could probably find something else to excite me. Oh how I was disappointed. What I found to excite me amounted to a bag of beans. Literally. ($1.39 for a bag of dried cannellini.) Pasta is never on sale there. Butter is never on sale. It's already a pretty small store, so there was nothing else to buy. I couldn't put $3 on my credit card because it's not nice and I think they'd yell at me, but I figured my half pound of peppers, dozen eggs, and bag of beans would be ok to pay cash for and I had $23 in my pocket.

To fit with my day, my total came to $3.09. Flustered, I broke my $20 and took my change. As I examined my receipt on the sidewalk, I saw I had been charged $1.39/lb for my peppers. Because of that, I had $0.91 in my pocket. I will someday spend those 3 quarters to do laundry, but the rest was a waste. It further ruined my day, so I had a glass of olives for dinner. I hated those olives because they had pits and I didn't realize that when I bought them. I decided they couldn't make my day worse, and flooding them with gin and vermouth could potentially make my day better. If nothing else, the martini and the sleeping pill put my day out of its misery.

How to Select a Can of Crushed Tomatoes

I love crushed tomatoes. I eat them on toast with shaved pecorino romano. I eat them from the can. With a little doctoring they make a good pasta sauce and I never have to buy jarred sauce again.  (And believe you me, I have a long and public history with pasta sauce.)

There are two things to consider when buying a can of crushed tomatoes: price and number of ingredients. You want to pay the fewest cents and you want to eat the fewest different ingredients. Cook's Illustrated tested a lot of crushed tomatoes and decided they liked the can with the most chemicals and basil and every other thing. They also love the flavor of cottage cheese in lasagna, so Cook's Illustrated is no longer a publication I respect. Anyway.

The best crushed tomatoes I've found are Colavita. $1.50 at Key Food. I keep a can of this in the refrigerator so it's always cold and tasty.

For a survey of the junk they try to stick in the other brands, continue reading.

My favorite part about Fridays

All the grocery sales are new!

I check Western Beef's specials through their website before I go. I walk around the other stores for fun.

Cake mix for $1! That's what I need to practice my ice cream cakes. 101 oz can of extra virgin olive oil for $16! I'm buying that.  I'm disappointed that pecorino romano is $5.98/lb though. I should have stocked up when it was $4.99. Now I'm almost out of cheese and am going to starve.  Spam's a good price ($2.50) but I should only eat that once a month.

Key Food's Redeeming Qualities

Despite generally having higher prices than the other grocery stores in the neighborhood, Key Food is good for some things. It is the easiest place to take my plastic shopping bags to recycle. I usually bring my own bag since the day I realized that I was filling up my garbage can with plastic bags and taking one reusable bag saves me 4-8 plastic ones. But I still end up with some bags in my life and Key Food is the best place for that.

And among stores I can walk to, it has the best selection. Since its expansion by one aisle, it's the least cluttered. It never enforced a credit card minimum on me.

You can get an 8 oz block of Key Food brand pepper jack for $1.99. They want at least $2.19 at any other store unless you wait for a sale, but I eat hunks of cheese every time I don't know what else to eat, so I can't wait for a sale.

Finally, I can get Colavita crushed tomatoes for $1.50. I don't really even find Colavita at other stores, and I'm picky about my crushed tomatoes.

On to the shortcomings I found yesterday.

Do you like my butter?

The deli across the street sold Eric a single stick of butter for $1.

I usually pay $2.49 for 4 sticks, but this was an emergency for him. He wanted to make mac and cheese.

BQE Liquors Always Treats Me Right

Like at Associated, I am the mayor of BQE Wines & Liquors at Foursquare. I don't think they know that, but they always are so kind to me. Today the lady untied the knot of my bag, loaded up my boozes, then retied it. It was the retying that impressed me.

Since Chase gave me $100 to get their credit card, I've been perusing those booze shelves even more thoroughly. Today I found Evan Williams Honey. $9.97 isn't bad for a bottle of something that's 35% alcohol and the quality of Evil Willy. I debated it for a while, but it seems like the kind of liquor I could talk someone else into buying and letting me try if I speak highly enough of it for a while. I also considered $9.99 for the 750ml brand of brandy I dislike. (I like E&J VSOP, for the record) and some $11 1L Montezuma tequila. But people like tequila, and I'm trying to spend my free $100 on rebuilding my inventory, so that means I can only get gross things. I got a $10 bottle of J.W. Scotch. If it tastes like I hope, it will evoke the flavor memories of brown Listerine in anyone bold enough to try it.

I also found something I can't pronounce and have never seen, but it was in the vodka section.

I like orange. I like cloves. I like things that cost $12.86. But like the Evil Willy Honey, I bet someone else will buy this--namely, my brother. Right next to it was orange and mint, which he also might buy. Based on the neighborhood and that L with a line, I reckon it's Polish.

I ended up with 1.75L of Georgi vodka, which tied my 3-way taste test with Tito's and Ketel One, 2 bottles of Fleischman's whiskey ($5.97 each), and that scotch. Fleischman's is what I call smiling whiskey, because your wallet smiles when you buy it and you smile after you finish a glass. (You wince when you start a glass, but you get over it.)

Food Bazaar's the Second Best Place for Garbage Bags

After yesterday's fiasco, I still had to find some garbage bags. Walgreens wanted $5 for 15 bags. The other Walgreens had the same prices. Walgreens also bought Duane Reade and shut down the one near here, which I didn't know. I couldn't risk going in the tiny stores because I only have $3 in cash because I spent all my other dollars on beers and pizza on Sunday. I couldn't go back to Associated because I would be embarrassed and I already bought everything I wanted yesterday. So Food Bazaar it was.

 Food Bazaar has one of the best potion sections around.  You have to look these things up to find out what they're even supposed to do. Beef, Iron, & Wine? Oddly enough, this is now where they keep the Marmite which is a legitimate, though bizarre-tasting, foodstuff. Maybe this is how they show what they think of it. I think it would be better off in the MSG aisle that has every variety of Ac'cent msg seasoning on one side and a wall of ramen on the other.

Why Associated is Replacing Key Food as my most visited store

I get such deals there! Yesterday I set out to get garbage bags and I found them at Associated for $2.19. I even went to Key Food to compare and nothing was close. I went back to Associated and grabbed the bags and since I felt bad using a credit card for $2.19, I looked for what else I could buy.

I got crema salvadorena for $2.50. It's usually $2.99. Tortillas that are made on my street for $1.39 (usually $1.50). Heinz hamburger dill pickle chips for $1.99. You can't even find those most places. The spaghetti was $0.67. I make a point of buying pasta when I can find it for $1 or less. I haven't seen pasta in a box at that price since 2005 or 2006. Sardines were on sale for $0.99, even the kind that isn't in oil. They're usually $1.29. And I got about a pound of jalapenos because they were $0.99/lb. You usually find them for $1.49.

Unfortunately, when I got home, I realized that in my haste I picked up the garbage bags that are tiny. The garbage bags you never ever need to buy because they are the same size as plastic shopping bags. Now I'm stuck making a Halloween costume out of them if they're going to be useful at all.

Western Beef's the place for cheap chicken

I have since forgiven Western Beef. I became its mayor on Foursquare today, in fact. And I introduced Andrew to it and he is in love. I have a healthy relationship with it, but he walked around it with stars in his eyes.

Today I bought 2 cans of Roland mushrooms ($0.99 for about a 15 oz can. Can't beat that), a can of pumpkin so I can make these gnocchi from Delallo, and about 15 lbs of chicken leg quarters. If you buy in bulk like that, it's normally $0.49/lb, but they had a sale so it was $0.39. That's a lot of chicken! Then I biked home with it through the rain with the bag hanging from my handlebars. I think the added weight gave me enough inertia to get up the hill more easily than usual.

Western Beef Impugned my Integrity!

I wrote them this nasty letter. A summary of their specials to follow.

Dear Western Beef,

I was just shopping in your Ridgewood store, and as I was checking out, a cashier who seemed to be new held up my cabbage and asked me what it was exactly. At that time, another employee named Lena, who seemed to be training him, told him not to ask me because customers will lie to him. Please tell Lena that I would not lie about groceries, whether it is $0.39/lb cabbage or something more expensive. I consider grocery shopping one of my hobbies, and I've even written a blog on and off about it for the last several years. Of course, there was no way for Lena to know that, but there was also know way to know or suspect that I am a liar. I just recently started shopping at Western Beef and now I don't feel so good about my choice.

Best regards,
Mike

Their website is stupid in that to send an email, you fill out a form and then it loads your local mail client to stick the form into an email to send it.

Anyway, they had packs of hot dogs 2/$3. Tuna is 3/$2, but I must have grabbed a wrong can because one rang up differently and cost more. And cabbage is $0.39/lb, and you can't find a better price than that. They had a very good price for generic hot dog buns, but I can't remember it anymore because I'm mad.

Plum tomatoes are on sale at C-Town

But they're not that good. They are, however, only $0.99/lb, and in a first, not ugly. C-Town always has the ugliest produce.

In a more somber note, someone who isn't me thinks he's the mayor of C-Town on Foursquare, so we're foes now and I'm very angry.

Fontina Surprise

Pecorino romano was $11.99/lb. Heck on that! I got fontina instead, which was $9.99 lb. Lo and behold, when I checked out with my key food card, it only cost $4/lb! What a shock.

I also bought crema, which is my favorite food.

I did not buy white asparagus. It was previously 2 bunches for $1 at Jesus, but now all asparagus is $3 bunch. Heck on that!

Pecorino Romano

When the heck is Key Food going to put pecorino romano on sale again? I miss it.

I have to live on Colavita crushed tomatoes for now. You get a 28 oz can for $1.50 and you know they're the good kind because there only two ingredients: tomatoes and salt.

King Cobra

I'm poor.

Cobra at the deli on the NW corner of Grand and Bushwick - $6

Cobra at the deli on the NW corner of Grand and Graham - $4.50

A 25% discount for walking 2 blocks west.